For those of us alive and well in the 1980s we’re well aware
of the term “satanic panic”. The phrase was coined when allegations of satanic
rituals and child molestation were brought forth, in particular the McMartin Preschool
case. The attention to items like this spread like wildfire and it wasn’t long
before news crews were talking to various suspects, Geraldo had guests on his
show linking the satanic groups to the Manson murders and Son of Sam killings
and everything else under the sun. So when I heard there was a movie called
SATANIC PANIC coming out that was what I associated it with. The fact is it has
nothing to do with that and is a rather well done horror/comedy that uses it as
a springboard instead.
Samantha ‘Sam’ Craft (Hayley Griffith) is a down on her luck
teen who takes a job delivering pizzas on her scooter. When a call comes in for
a high end area of town the other delivery guys turn it down and send her. It
seems that they’ve been stiffed for tips there before. One suggests to Sam that
if it happens she sneak into the house and shame the owners into coughing up a
tip.
Of course this is exactly what takes place. When stiffed for
the tip, she starts to leave and then decides that she deserves her money.
Unfortunately for her she isn’t aware of the fact that the house she’s stopped
by is home for a coven of witches preparing to bring forth the demon Baphomet
for Beltane to the world. Led by socialite Danica Ross (Rebecca Romijn)
preparations have been made, her husband locked up for nearly foiling the plan
and a search for a virgin to replace the originally intended victim is taking
place.
When Sam steps in she’s quickly captured and tossed into the
den where Danica’s husband Samuel (real life husband Jerry O’Connell) is decked
out in only his tighty whities. He clues Sam into what is transpiring and
decides to save her life by taking her virginity from her. Except that Sam
isn’t interested and after finding a gun shoots him in the neck, then escapes
through the nearby doors.
When Danica finds out what has happened she takes Samuel’s
heart out to use in a ceremony by baking it. Danica is having problems of her
own controlling the coven since one of the members, Gypsy Neumieir (Arden
Myrin) wants to take over the group. At some point you know a confrontation
between the two will happen.
In the meantime Sam has run to a nearby house where she
finds a young girl babysitting two boys. The girl offers her a drink and tells
her she’s going to call the police. Sam puts the drink down and one of the boys
drinks it instead, dying shortly after. It turns out the babysitter is the
daughter of one of the cult couples and chases after Sam who hides in a
bedroom…where she finds another girl hogtied on the bed.
The girl is Judi (Ruby Modine), daughter of Samuel and
Danica, and she was the intended victim for the evening. Instead she ruined her
mother’s plans but taking care of the virginity issue on her own. Now she wants
nothing to do with them and is all out to help Sam escape. With the coven on
their tail and using witchcraft and spells to catch them it appears the girls
might not make it through the night.
The film definitely qualifies as a dark comedy and presents
more laughs than scares along the way. Sadly they aren’t major laughs but are
done well enough to keep viewers entertained. The concept is fresh and that’s
rare for horror films let alone horror/comedy movies. And while some might find
the subject matter offensive keep in mind it’s not played out as serious and
the members of the coven all come off as snooty snobs concerned only with
maintaining their positions in society.
That’s an underlying part of the film as well, a depiction
of the haves and have nots so often talked about in political circles these days.
In the film the haves are portrayed as coming into their wealth not through
work or achievement but by using satanic methods to insure they retain their
rule over the simple working folk. Fortunately the writer and director were
smart enough not to make that the central theme but they did choose to stick it
in there.
The acting isn’t top notch but it’s not bad. Griffith comes
off best here showing potential that will make her worth watching down the
line. Romijn has done better in the past and doesn’t come off quite that well
here. O’Connell seems a bit sleazier than he has in some roles but handles it
well. And Modine shows potential as well.
All in all for a movie that’s being released on disc in
October this is one that adults might have a laugh at. I don’t know that I’d
recommend it for teens and definitely not for children. At the last minute they
decide that language might not be enough to get an R rating and toss in an orgy
scene filled with enough nudity for several films. For that reason, as well as
the theme of the film, I’d keep youngsters away.
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