Wednesday, June 19, 2013

THIS GIRL IS BADASS: NO, SHE'S JUST BAD

Let me start by saying that I love martial arts movies. I couldn't begin to tell you the number of times I've watched ENTER THE DRAGON but it is in the double digits. I've enjoyed the new comers to the genre when they began like Steven Segal, Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme. I've liked the more current round of stars like Tony Jaa and Gary Daniels. That being said there is something that folks should realize when looking for a new martial arts film.

The films made overseas in the Far East sometimes lose something in translation. Some don't like the historical martial arts films of the past. A few of the police films featuring some top fighting sequences lose something. But the ones that lose the most are those that are based as much in humor as in fighting. They lose tons in translation. What is funny in one country falls flat in another.

That being said, THIS GIRL IS BADASS loses almost everything in translation. The film offers martial arts that are fairly weak and should be the foundation of the film. Instead we have a girl using her bicycle as a weapon and not believably so. But let's get to the plot first...if I followed it correctly.

Jukkalan is a bicycle courier who speeds around town delivering items for various people. Currently she's been assigned to transport some packages for some underworld types who then want to take back the money they paid her after she delivers their package. Why they would risk so much for so little is beyond me. Instead of dying though she uses her aforementioned martial arts/bicycle skills to take down the gang sent to dispose of her.

Then she gets another job to transport another package for another mobster. The first one apparently wants to sit back a while before tangling with her again. Once more she's attacked after delivering the package and yet she continues to work the same job. Not only that but she's been lifting a portion of the profits from each delivery.

If this wasn't enough of a plot we have a few others as well. One involves her uncle, a man in love with the woman who lives next door and who does laundry. But her uncle has some sort of shady past we don't find out about till near the end of the film. Then there's the boy next door, a goofy looking guy who is in love with Jukkalan. But she's in love with the hunky guy who lives nearby and sits around playing guitar all the time.

The plot lines in this film are as lame as they can be and the mixing of one storyline to another fails miserably. The acting is one of two things, either really bad or simply so unlike that seen in other countries as to appear terrible. Perhaps these would be unnoticeable in the country it was filmed in but here it's the main thing we see. The worst sin of all though is the fighting sequences which seem forced at best and lame at worst.

There is nothing I can say that would make this film an enjoyable experience. It was truly a movie I wouldn't waste time on. I would only recommend it to those who feel the need to watch every single martial arts film ever made. Myself, I'll watch the good ones over again.

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