One thing that you should all know when it comes to watching
and writing about movies: there are huge numbers of films released straight to
DVD each year that fill the shelves and kiosk of rental spaces that are
complete and utter wastes of your time. Please, allow me to steer you clear of
some of these. I'm not talking about major releases that are just worthless
movies but stuff that is so bad that they never even make it to a theater with
the exception of some dive in the worst spot in town. That being said lets take
a look at SNOW WHITE: A DEADLY SUMMER.
First off the use of the name Snow White is bogus here.
There are no dwarves or magic apples nor Prince Charmings here. Instead we have
a troubled teen who is revolting against her father who has just remarried
after the death of her mother. With her latest bit of trouble his new wife
convinces him that it's time to get tough and to send her to a boot camp for
troubled teens.
The girl goes but soon discovers that there's more going on
here than the parents of these teens know. One girl went missing never to show
again. But the worst thing that these teens must endure is actually the man who
runs the place and his attempt at acting. It is beyond sub par.
As the kids are forced to do various tasks they do
accomplish one thing well like those in charge. Their clothes never seem to
truly get dirty. If they had only been this way at home perhaps their parents
wouldn't have sent them here in the first place!
I could offer you a spoiler about what finally happens in
the end here but why bother because if you waste your time and money on renting
this one let alone buying it, then you deserve everything you get. It truly is
that bad.
Here are a couple of other clues as to how bad the movie is.
Eric Roberts plays the father. Roberts' career has had so many good and bad
roles you never quite know what to expect. Expect the worst here. And the woman
he married to recover from the death of his late wife? Maureen McCormick. Yes,
Marsha Brady herself is the conniving woman who wants the teen gone and talks
to her mirror...or is she just talking to herself and is mad?
The movie is directed by David DeCoteau, famous for films
like SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA, CREEPOZOIDS, PUPPETMASTER 3,
BEACH BABES FROM BEYOND and three more Puppetmaster sequels. Here's a scary
thought: each of those movies was wonderful compared to this one. Avoid it at
all costs.
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