Tuesday, October 27, 2015

EATERS: IT BITES!



The main characters in this movie don’t eat, they suck. As in this movie is such a total waste of time it sucks. I’m sorry to be so harsh but this movie was so bad that even trying to watch portions of it in fast forward, through those scenes where no dialogue is spoken and nothing happens (which was much of the time) were too bad to watch even that way.

A group of five friends (every one of which is a terrible actor whose names I won’t print to avoid embarrassment for them) are on a trip when they stop at a rest area in the desert. Also at the stop is one of the worst excuses for a biker gang ever filmed. When one of the girls goes missing from the restroom they immediately assume the now gone bike gang took her and set out to get her back.

It turns out the gang didn’t take her and that’s when they realize there was another car at the stop. They backtrack (after leaving the biker’s stranded of course) and eventually find the car and the group that took her. The members of this group where white cloth bags on their heads with Xs scrawled where there eyes are. Oooooo…scary!

I really want to tell you what lame excuse for a bad guy this group is but someone would yell spoiler and be unhappy. Trust me, please TRUST ME, when I say that renting this movie to find out is not worth it. Poorly made, uninteresting, pacing that seems slow when placed beside a snail and with some of the worst acting I’ve seen in years. There is nothing I can think of to say good about this movie. Yes, I know that many who work on movies have a love of film and a desire to be creative. But I’m sorry this one was really bad.

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