Tuesday, July 15, 2014

SCAVENGER KILLERS: AN ATTEMPT AT THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE

It's amazing how difficult it is to describe what could possibly be one of the worst films I've ever had to sit through as this one. SCAVENGER KILLERS features some of the worst acting, the worst effects and the worst plotline of I've ever had to endure. From the opening moments of this film till the end credits rolled I was dumbfounded once again that this movie was actually given the green light, the money was provided for someone to make this film while others sat on the shelf.

The story is thin here. A judge and a defense attorney set out to kill as many people in as many ways as they can. The first victim is one that the judge rules in favor of even if the circumstantial evidence was enough to go for a conviction. Not only do the judge and the lady attorney kill this victim the sequence they've done so has her in bed with them and their bodies covered in her blood. I'm sure that the reason behind this was to shock but instead it just somehow gives them a chance to display their acting abilities instead. In other words they can't act.

The pair continues to kill and kill again, which of course means we get the chance for some gratuitous flesh from time to time. In particular we get to see three victims for the price of one, of course all female, standing on boxes with their hands tied up above. One is decapitated in what appears to be one of the most terrible special effects moments captured on film combining actual effects with CGI for a terrible effect. And during the moments of their kills it seems the judge and attorney feel compelled to have sex as well.

With all of that you would think this was the worst offense committed here but it isn't. What is is the fact that well known and respected actors actually appear in this film. Eric Roberts, Charles Durning and Robert Loggia all make appearances in the film and all I cold think each time they appeared on screen was are they really in need of money so badly that they'd appear in something like this? It saddened me to think they had to be in something so terrible.

While I watched I tried to force myself to believe that what was going on here was a campy film made to look like those of H.G. Lewis, a homage perhaps to poorly made, poorly shot films that fell into a category of movies that were so bad they were good. If that was the attempt they failed miserably.

I'm hoping I never have to see either of the leads in this film again in a movie or if so that they take a few acting classes before then. If they've already done so then they need to ask for their money back. Each time I saw the lead actress in this film I kept thinking she must be a porn star because not only does she look like one offering a display of cleavage every chance she had but she had the same acting talents of one as well.

To list the things wrong with this movie would be to waste consonants and vowels. Suffice to say that this is a bad movie and not in a good way. I am stunned to find a number of favorable reviews online for this movie. It makes me think either those posting those reviews either work for or are related to someone involved with the film. That or they're written by people who adore any and all horror films that offer gore more than story. I honestly can't think of a single word that has been created to say how bad this movie is. So let's just stick with two: it stinks.

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