Perhaps it's due to my age but I honestly am tiring of the
teen movies coming out these days. Even in my twenties I enjoyed the films
about that age group better than what's coming out now. Movies like THE BREAKFAST
CLUB and even SIXTEEN CANDLES told us more
about the teens of the day and their problems than this new crop has done.
Today it seems that teens can't face normal problems so we place them in danger
via vampires or twisted tales of the future. Of the lot only the HUNGER GAMES
films have proven worthwhile. Now we have VAMPIRE ACADEMY, based on the best
selling series meant for teens. Even that bothers me knowing that teens would
rather read this than things more worthwhile.
The story revolves around two friends involved at the
Vladamir Academy, the titular location referred to in the title. They live in a
world where there is a certain order to vampires. First off is the Moroi, the
good vampires, nobles who feed off of willing donors but do not turn them. The
Moroi are practitioners of magic involving the elements. They also age and die
eventually and aren't as apt to suffer at things like the sun or other folk
legends.
Those that do suffer from those maladies are known as the
Strigoi. These are ex-Moroi who have drained a human being completely thus
turning themselves into savage blood draining killers. These are the vampires
that we have come to fear. They do avoid the sun and can only be killed with a
silver stake through the heart.
Lastly there are the Dhampir. These are the offspring of a
unification of human and Moroi. The Damphir are raised to protect the Moroi
from any evil that might befall them, especially attacks from the Strigoi who
seem determined to wipe out all traces of the civilized vampire sect.
Now you have the history of the cast of characters in this
movie. It's told via narration through Rose (Zoey Deutch), a Dhampir whose best
friend also happens to be the next in line for the crown, Lissa Dragomir (Lucy
Fry). Not only are the best friends but the two start the movie on the run,
having escaped from the Academy. Somewhere along the line they've become bonded
and Rose has the ability at times to see through the eyes of Lissa. They're
caught and brought home by Dimitri, the best Dhampir, and his crew. Before
entering the Academy they are attacked but survive.
Once they are home the headmistress of the school chastises
them for leaving and placing Lissa in great danger. But she's not the worst
problem they face. They now have to return to high school and all that entails,
including a young Moroi named Mia who has stolen Lissa's old boyfriend and has
now set out to destroy Lissa and Rose's reputations. It's cat fight time at
school!
As all of this unfolds Rose goes into heavy duty training as
a Dhampir. At present she's only a novice, now the time has come for serious
training. Between her psychic connection to Lissa and seeing things going on in
her life and her attraction to her teacher Dimitri, this isn't going to be
easy. It becomes more difficult when strange things begin happening at the
school to Lissa including finding dead animals hanging from her door. Someone
seems to have their eye set on something dreadful happening to Lissa and now
it's up to Rose to find out who.
There were too many things I didn't like about this movie to
single one out as the worst. The acting was so-so at best. Even Gabriel Byrne
as an aging Moroi doesn't come off well. The sets of the film feel fake at
every moment. It's as if any blade of grass was astro turf and all the walls
look like stage sets from a high school production.
Perhaps the worst part of this for me was the story itself.
It feels so borrowed, so un-fresh as to be spoiled. The entire story feels as if a number of
other teen centered concepts were placed into a blender and turned on high.
From TWILIGHT we have vampires, from HARRY POTTER we have a school and from
CLUELESS we have the teen girls banding together to take on a common enemy. To
think that this has yielded not one but several books frightens me.
The movie ends with a set up for a sequel but I found myself
hoping that they didn't make the attempt. I wouldn't want to watch this movie
again let alone a sequel. That's saying something because I've always felt that
while a first film set up a universe the second always expanded on it. I have
no desire to see this one expanded. I don't even think I'll watch this one a
second time.
Perhaps, as I said at the start, it has something to do with
my age. Maybe if I were a teenage girl this movie would hold some sort of
attraction for me. Then again the box office numbers for this movie were so
distant from that of TWILIGHT that maybe we're in luck and this will be the one
and only film those few fans will have.
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