I've loved many of the horror films that Magnet has been
releasing over the past few years. While V/H/S had its ups and downs there is
no way you could say that it wasn't a formula that worked in this situation,
having several noted horror film directors make pieces of a complete story that
interconnected. So one would think that their newest release, THE ABCs OF
DEATH, would be a good movie too. Unfortunately that's not the case.
The situation is similar but more overblown. Rather than 4-5
directors this time we have 26 directors, one for each letter of the alphabet,
given a letter and told to make a short piece involving death. Some run no more
than 2 minutes and some longer, but each one is a miniscule time capsule where
they allowed the director complete free reign to do as they felt and make
whatever they wanted, no holds barred. That doesn't always turn out to be a
good idea as is evidenced here.
Some of the pieces are actually quite good given the time
and budget constraints. Some are mediocre which you might expect. The
surprising thing is the number of terrible pieces involved here that seem to
outweigh the good ones. Some even go so far as to be as offensive as they
possibly can. If you choose to watch keep in mind that the Japanese sense of
horror and film is far more outlandish and extreme than anything witnessed in
this country. Gore and blood doesn't so much flow in these pieces so much as
spew forth in an alarming amount as if blood vessels were connected to garden
hoses rather than a single heart pumping the fluid through a body.
The more I've thought about this the worse the movie has
actually gotten. I watched it last night and decided to let that sit a while
before writing. Rather than make the film more palatable it's made me dislike
it even more. It opens with a gory beginning piece that uses extreme make up
effects to good use when the final punch line is delivered but doesn't remain
in that format for long. The better of the pieces are found in the beginning of
the film and from there it becomes weirder, more unusual, more graphic and more
offensive.
Everything can be found here that would please those who
seem to think that the world wants exposure to the worst forms of humanity
possible. Freddy and Jason are child's play to the things witnessed here. Just
to give you a run down of ideas here are some of the things you will witness in
this film: Japanese girls who enjoy breaking wind, a women with a 6' by 1'
thick penis that includes a giant switchblade sword, claymation toilet
monsters, a contest where contestants masturbate while witnessing sexual scenes
that start with a nude woman and end with a child being raped (not seen but
inferred, still totally tasteless and excessive) and lastly a miscarriage
turned into a joke (not funny for those of us who have lived through such a
circumstance). I have no doubt that in criticizing such items I will be labeled
a prude and told that I just don't understand art. This is one time when I find
that more of a compliment than an insult.
It's not always a bad thing to have film makers push the
boundaries a bit. It sometimes leads to some amazing films. The problem lies
when they push the boundaries simply to just push the boundaries, just to shock
or simply to just see what they can get away with. That almost always leads to
poor film making, poor judgment and just bad movies as is witnessed here.
Have I seen films where worse happens than in this film?
Sure. Find out about NEKROMANTIC of AUGUST UNDERGROUND and you'll discover what
I'm talking about. While those to films have a cult/underground following this
film is being marketed as a more mainstream film. Somehow I think that the
neighborhood where this film is considered fun or entertaining is far past Elm Street,
Mockingbird Lane or the neighborhood of the Addams Family. Unless you just have
to see it or enjoy crap posing as art, then my recommendation would be to
bypass this film as quickly as possible and pray that a sequel is not in the
works.
Click here to order.
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