It's the closing night at the last drive-in in America and the owner has a special treat in store for his customers: a triple feature of rarely seen classics that he was able to get for this special screening. Fans pack the place and we, DVD renters, are able to see the movies as well. Too bad that they qualify for low B-grade movies.
What sounded like a great idea turns out to have few hits and far too many misses. Four current horror feature directors (Adam Rifkin, Joe Lynch, Adam Green and Tim Sullivan) thought this would make a great movie, a collection of short works by each one tied in together with the drive-in motif. Each film has some decent moments but on the whole leave much to be desired.
Surrounding the three features on the big outdoor screen is the story of a man who works at the drive-in who digs up his wife for some necrophilia interaction who finds his intended undead and well and able enough to bite down on his manhood. Thus he becomes infected and as the film moves forward he changes into a full blown (no pun intended) zombie who's infected blood and bite change patrons. What could have been a funny idea relies far too much on sex.
The movies on the screen begin with "WADZILLA", the story of a man whose sperm count is so miniscule as to only offer perhaps one sperm per encounter. A scientist offers him a chance to improve himself with a new drug yet to be tested on humans. The result is a super sperm that almost explodes the moment the young man becomes aroused. When he goes out on a blind date just meeting the young woman puts him into intense pain. Using her bathroom he "relieves" himself but the sperm in question escapes, much like the chest burster from ALIEN. It eventually attacks his date who escapes and the two try to stop the sperm without any luck. With each encounter it becomes bigger and bigger until it's the size of, well, Godzilla. Do they finally stop it? I won't give it away but yes, this one involves some gooey special effects and some very off color jokes.
The second film is "I WAS A TEENAGE WERE-BEAR". Played out as a tribute to those classic beach films combined with the teenage monster movies, the film has a hero who has yet to have sex with his girlfriend. For some reason he seems more attracted to the tough leather clad bad boys on the beach. Eventually he gets bitten on the behind and discovers to his dismay that he will become a were-bear when the full moon rises. For those who don't know a bear in gay terms is a hairy and full figured male. Can he be accepted for who he is? And is this what he really wants?
The third film in the group is "THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN". Yes, it has perhaps the best name of the bunch. In this lost German film we find Hitler discovering the hide out of the Frankenstein family. Not only does he find them but he finds their secret books as well describing how to create a human being. Of course he does so and the result is a definitely Hassidic looking Golem style creation. This movie offers some decent jokes involving the purely made up German sounding language and a number of low budget film making gags. For instance when a German soldier is picked up by the monster and thrown we see a black stand in crash through a table then replaced with the white actor.
As I said in between various characters are infected with the zombie virus and by the end of the last film have gone on a rampage in the drive in. Characters we've met throughout are seen fighting them off and whether or not they survive is in question.
The movie works in some ways but in others it misses completely. The jokes are far too wrapped up in sex and rarely rise above per-teen humor. Yes, the Wadzilla creature is funny as are some of the jokes around it, but when piled one on top of the other they lose their ability to make you laugh.
On the whole fans of B-movies and drive-ins will probably want to take the time to watch this movie. My guess is it would make a great party movie as well. Perhaps it would seem that much funnier if those watching were a little tipsy. It might not be a movie to add to your collection but a single rental would be worthwhile if you're not easily offended.
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