CROSS – RISE OF THE VILLAINS: THIRD TIME IS NOT A CHARM

I watched this film trying to remember if I’d seen the first two in the series. I know I saw one but it left such an impression on me that I forgot it within minutes of the end credits. If I hadn’t written about this one soon after watching the odds of that happening twice would be good. Chances are within a week I’ll have forgotten this one too.

If you haven’t seen any of the films Brian Austin Green of BEVERLY HILLS 90120 fame stars as Callan, a futuristic hero who gains power from an ancient Celtic Cross who saves the planet from world dominating bad guys with the help of his equally heroic teammates. Having done so in the first film and then repeated the same in the second, we now have a third film.

As a group of game players gathers behind the locked doors of a comic book shop, they play a game that finds them helping Cross and his team. This makes for a strange set of circumstances as you’re never quite sure if the game is a game or reality. By the end of the film it gets even more confusing as game members are pulled into the comic universe to help save the world but left with a cliffhanger ending.

This time around Cross and his team are pitted against super villains Muerte (Danny Trejo) and Drago (Manu Intiraymi). In their secret hideout Muerte plans on robbing Cross of his powers while elevating Drago with a cross of his own. So dire are the consequences that Cross must resort to asking for aid from previous villain Gunnar (Vinnie Jones).

I honestly can’t write a whole lot more about this film. Made for the direct-to-disc market it stinks even for that group. The effects are some of the worst you will ever find and include things like the flashes seen from every gun that it fired in the film. How can you make a movie without a big enough budget for blanks? Explosions are the same with debris and launch pads used for the stunt people as they fly in the air surrounded by completely fake looking CGI explosions.

The acting is…well…it’s…terrible. I love Danny Trejo and he can even make commercials where he does better than this. To say his part is phoned in is an understatement. The odds are he was paid great money to sit on a chair on one set looking at a laptop while laughing maniacally. That’s about all his character is required to do here.

At 100 minutes this movie is 100 minutes too long. To think that it sets it up for a part 4 is just mind numbing. It makes you wonder how movies like this get made while knowing there are far better pictures in development hell.

I’m guessing they were hoping to tap into the super-hero market that is out there but this one makes those early Marvel films that people joke about look like they were Oscar contenders. 

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