Okay, so in my stack of movies yet seen yet purchased somewhere along the line I came across a little film called THE RAGE, also known as ROBERT KURTZMAN’S THE RAGE. For those who don’t know, Kurtzman is the K in the company KNB Effects. Along with Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger, the three made one of the best effects companies around. But Kurtzman for some reason (I’ve not heard this story yet) decided to break off and start his own film production company. Of all places, he located it near Crestline, Ohio. You can’t get much further from Hollywood than that kids.
There are fans of Kurtzman out there who love the Wishmaster series of films he was responsible for having directed/created the first film. And his credits as an effects artist are pretty impressive as well. But this movie will not be one that lends itself to bragging rights over. In fact, this movie is so bad that I would recommend it for little more than either a brief laugh or one of those films you put on during a rowdy party where everyone is pretty much wasted and doesn’t care about the movie but gets a laugh out of things they see while in a drunken stupor.
Andrew Divoff (who has a long list of great roles he’s played in films from AIR FORCE ONE to the afore mentioned WISHMASTER) stars as a mad Russian scientist searching for…well for something. As the film begins we have no idea what that is. We just know he’s in some remote backwoods lab where he’s created a series of mutated humans that are covered with humongous boils that look all slimy. His latest creation jumps off escapes the table he is strapped down on, bites the good doctor and sets out on a rampage, filled with the Rage mutation the doctor has created.
Flash forward to an outdoor rave that somehow has enough money to pay professional band Mushroomhead to play (at the time they were considered up and coming). Two couples and a tag along friend are in the midst of getting wasted and the tag along is coaxing one couple into a three way. Isn’t that how all raves end up?
The night before the escaped mutant had killed and eaten a parked couple having sex in a convertible and then later died. His corpse was eaten by vultures who have now taken on the rage mutating gene and been altered. Move on to nice Uncle Ben (horror genre star Reggie Bannister in a wasted role but with one of the best lines in the film that’s sure to bring laughs to horror fans) and his niece and nephew, out for a fishing trip at the ole fishing hole their late father used to go to. When the niece doesn’t return from taking a tinkle, Uncle Ben finds her being eaten by the birds who then spew forth some form of acid into his face that transforms him as well. Of course he then takes out the nephew. The vultures are the first of many poorly done special effects. The hand held ones aren’t too bad but the CGI vultures will remind you of the bad CGI creatures you see every week on SyFy’s latest killer croc/dinosaur/snake movies.
By this time the rowdy kids have awakened and are on the road in the motor home. Here comes the second worst special effect in the movie. As they drive we get to see a projected image of the RV moving through the windows that’s out of focus, out of sync and down right stupid looking. After a fight in the RV between the once wasted yet now angelic girlfriend drawn into a three way the night before, they suddenly slam into Uncle Ben now in the middle of the road munching on someone.
When they get out to investigate, they have to contend first with the not quite dead Uncle Ben and then of course the raging vultures. These are some nasty critters as they rip through the windows, attempt to enter via the hatch on top and in general make themselves pretty darn pesky. Which leads to the next poor effect, the RV blowing up in what looks like some of the worst created CGI fire I’ve ever seen.
Skipping ahead, and yes I’ve already told you about a lot of the movie but in an attempt to save you the $1 or perhaps 50 cent price tag for the rental, not all of them survive as they trek through the woods but wouldn’t you know that they end up back and the shack used by the good old mad scientist who actually died but came back, resurrected by the rage formula. He’s found out about the vultures and discovered that their mutated genes aren’t affected by his antidote. Now he must experiment on these teens (?) to find a new cure. And suddenly one of his ex-experiments is helping him and he’s picked up a mutated dwarf as well!
You can watch the film if you want to know what happens. All I can tell you is that for a movie made by one of the top progenitors of effects in the last 30 years, this one has some of the crappiest effects I’ve seen. Not to mention one of the worst scripts with bad dialogue throughout. And some terrible acting. I guess I should have expected that as the main lead in the film, not-so-innocent-girlfriend Kat, identified in the credits as Erin Brown turned out to be B-movie bad girl and straight to video star Misty Mundae. I have yet to see her in anything where she did something that resembled acting.
Honestly I’ve watched Ed Wood films that were more entertaining. This one is truly bad and wavers along that fine line between a film that is just bad and so bad it’s good. And not good as in a good movie but good as in this film is so over the top and bad that it’s hilarious. With the exception of Bannister’s one quote and another from Mundae delivered to the mutant midget concerning oompa loompas, this movie is worthless. I was sorry I spent the money on it. I’ve since passed it along to my son who I am sure will put it on and laugh the first time and then use it to demonstrate how bad a movie can be.
There is one good thing about this film. It should give someone out there the confidence to know that anyone can make a movie and that almost anyone could come up with something better. Let’s just hope that they don’t come up with THE RAGE 2.
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