DICK TRACY: CLASSIC COMIC STRIP FILM COMES TO BLU-RAY

Has it really been 22 years since DICK TRACY was came out on film? I find that stunning. It seems like only yesterday that the film came out and that this comic strip character made his way to the screen once again.

Warren Beatty directs the film and stars as the title character, a totally dedicated police detective who battles crime with every waking breath. Tracy's long time girlfriend Tess Trueheart (Glenne Headly) sticks close to Tracy's side at all times and waits patiently for the day he will finally propose to her. In the line of duty Tracy comes across a homeless young boy named The Kid (Charlie Korsomo) that he takes under his wing with the help of Tess. 

But like most crime fighters in comics it is Tracy's rogue's gallery that makes him stand out. Top of the list is Big Boy Caprice (Al Pacino), the crime boss who has control of every criminal in the city. Among these criminals you'll find the likes of Flattop (William Forsythe), Mumbles (Dustin Hoffman), Pruneface (R.G.Armstrong) and more, all appearing just like their names and identical to the way they appeared in the comic strip. Big Boy has set his sights on taking over the entire underworld of the city and accomplishes this with ease, causing problems for Tracy and his team.

In addition to taking over the underworld, Big Boy has laid claim to the town's fanciest nightclub and its star attraction, Breathless Mahoney (Madonna). No one in town can sing a torch song like Breathless and even Tracy finds himself stunned into silence when in her presence.

As any competition that goes up against Big Boy disappears, Tracy and his group find it more and more difficult to actually catch him in the act. Witnesses disappear and cement shoes are given to more than one problem that Big Boy faces, but Tracy is the die hard detective who will stop at nothing to put an end to Big Boy and his gang.

The thing about this movie is that it's not the plot that keeps you watching. It's the visualization of a comic book page come to life on the big screen. Beatty made some wise decisions when he made this film having the sets made as simply and as bright as possible even when the lighting is low. This is the four color template used in comics that we've all grown up with and it's used for perfect effect in this film.

He also made a wise decision with the make up here, choosing to make the characters appear just like they did in the comic strip as well. Flattop actually has a flat head. Pruneface has more wrinkles than a shar pei. These characters were there in the comic strip and later in the cartoons of Tracy as well. Here they come to life.

The action is violent at times but more in a comic book style than in most mobster movies seen these days. Granted some kids will find the bad guys scary looking but more for their appearance than their actions.

The one disappointing thing about the film is Beatty's choice to play Tracy as himself rather than the same makeup he gives the other actors. Tracy was noted for his hawk nose and jutting jaw line. Beatty has chosen to simply outfit himself in Tracy's bright yellow coat and hat with no altering make up at all. With the bad guys all decked out, why not Tracy as well.

The blu-ray release offers a fantastic look to this film making the colors, the centerpiece of the film, seem to pop right off the screen. Unfortunately it doesn't offer anything in the way of extras but fans of the film will just be content to finally have the chance to add it to their collection. DICK TRACY isn't just a film to rent for a night, this is one to add to your shelf to be taken down and enjoyed from time to time.

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RESDENT EVIL-RETRIBUTION: ACTION GAME COMES ALIVE

So let's be honest here. As the series of RESIDENT EVIL movies has progressed they've become less about being a real movie and more about being a visualization of the first person shooter game that began the whole thing. That was starting to show in the last film but in this current release it becomes even more apparent.

Picking up immediately where the last film left off we once more have items tossed our direction as the film lives up to it's 3-D hype with weapons tossed about and at the audience every so often to make sure you're paying attention. If you're not watching it in 3-D (I wasn't) then you just see items tossed at the camera and don't feel the need to duck every few minutes.

We learn a little more about Alice (Mila Javovich) but not much and once again she finds herself captured and unconscious. With the help of Ada Wong she escapes, arms herself and begins the carnage. A white hallway filled with zombie types soon finds itself splattered in red with dead bodies left and right. But of course Alice escapes.

Alice learns that the Umbrella Corporation is sitting back and watching the T virus run rampant across the globe, doing nothing to stop it. I always found this a little odd since most corporations' goals are to achieve wealth and power and a world over run by zombies would provide neither not to mention no fuel or sustainable food source. But that's logic talking.

Somehow Alice ends up working with her arch enemy from the series, Wesker, who sees some of the problems that have arisen. Instead of being pitted against him she is now pitted against the Red Queen, the computer that looks like a child in holographic image seen in the first film. A team sent in to help Alice is on the way but of course she stops to help a little girl who thinks Alice is her mother since a clone of Alice was with her earlier. Trust me if you watch it it makes sense. Then again the girl is a clone as well. There are tons of clones in this series.

What I've offered here is more plot than is actually seen here. Most of it is offered in bits and pieces throughout the 96 minute running time. This film isn't about plot though, it's about action and there is plenty of that here. Well action and CGI creatures that want Alice dead. Some of the main creatures from the original game show up here rendered nicely via CGI.

But that's the thing that might be the downfall of this film series. It has less and less to do with story and more and more to do with just all out action. Don't get me wrong, I love action films. But it's much more fun to see an action film based around a story. This movie feels like your sitting beside someone playing the game and watching how they do.

While not the most terrible film I've ever seen it doesn't leave me much hope for another film. And the ending of this one like all the rest leaves it wide open for a cataclysmic last chapter. If it happens I might watch for a $2 rental but I doubt I'd shell out the bucks to own it, even if I wanted a complete series on my shelf. 

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GAME CHANGE: REAL OR NOT?

How you view the movie GAME CHANGE will depend quite a bit on how you feel politically. There is no way around it. If you are liberal then you'll find the movie does a great job of pointing out how terrible a person Sarah Palin was. If you're a conservative you'll find that the movie is little more than a hatchet job. But if you're like I feel most people are, sort of in the middle of those two camps, you'll see both aspects of that in this film.

GAME CHANGE is about the elections of 2008 when Barak Obama came out of nowhere and used the flames of popularity to win the White House. His campaign was well run and people seemed to adore him much to the consternation of competitor John McCain (Ed Harris) and his staff. The movie shows them discussing how to take on Obama and win votes away from him and that results in a choice that felt to many like it came out of nowhere, the choice of Sarah Palin (Julianne Moore).

But it wasn't out of nowhere. As the film shows it was a savvy move to attract voters who were viewing McCain as nothing more than the same old ancient white man who runs the country. Choosing Palin was a risky choice but it got the press and the public interested. Chief strategist Steve Schmidt (Woody Harrelson) is tremendously pleased with his choice once the numbers begin coming in and it looks as if McCain might actually have a chance to win.

Up to this point the movie seems pretty even handed and displays a side of both McCain and Palin that seem like normal people who have moved on to positions of power. Neither seems evil or out to do damage and both love their country and what to do what's right. That all changes as the movie then tries to show Palin as perhaps the most stupid person on the face of the Earth.

As the strategists try to prep her for interviews and to make speeches, Palin appears to know absolutely nothing. Their depiction of her almost nears the point of where you wonder if she has the ability to even know how to tie her own shoes. Not only that but the film shows the pressure of having to perform, having to suddenly be thrust before the intense scrutiny of the press and all without the election team having done the necessary background checks they were supposed to because they thought someone else had done it.

The change in the film also shows in how they felt voters changed as well. When Palin is first announced the crowds go wild and money begins coming in to help support McCain. When she fails at several interviews suddenly the film tries to lay the blame of the fall of McCain on Palin's shoulders. This seemed a bit odd to me since I recall that campaign and how crowds continued to flock to see Palin up till the last minute and continue to do so even today.

As the film progresses we see Sarah Palin changing from the soccer mom governor of Alaska to a power hungry witch who thinks she knows more than those trying to help her. I have little doubt that there is some truth in that because the saying that power corrupts. I also believe that the pressure must have been tremendous on Palin who was suddenly thrust into the spotlight. Anyone might think they are prepared for that but the intense scrutiny that the press brought down was unlike any seen in recent times.

So how is the movie? Interesting from start to finish. It does show a lot of what goes on behind the scenes during an election, perhaps not as well as THE WAR ROOM documentary about Bill Clinton's election, but it gives viewers a look at what happens when the doors are closed off to the press. The performances are what surprised me. Ed Harris does a fantastic job as McCain making him someone that maybe more people would have voted for if he'd come off this good. Harrelson also does a great job as a man who was to be the architect behind a successful for the Presidency who sees it all fall apart.

After all the acclaim and awards Moore won for her performance here I was stunned to see how weak it truly was. I felt more like I was watching Tina Fey do her impression of Palin than I was seeing an actor perform a role. She has the voice and look down but where was that side of Palin that we didn't see before cameras? According to this film and Moore's performance there was nothing the least bit sympathetic about Palin. She comes off as naive and then a total witch with nothing in between. She's portrayed as being so incredibly stupid as to not know the simplest of things taught in junior high civics classes. Having been the daughter of a teacher, a news anchor, a mayor and a governor, I found it incredibly disingenuous for her to be displayed this way. It felt more like a cheap shot than a does of reality.

As I said from the start, your own belief system will decide how you feel about this movie. If you love Palin you'll be angry and if you hate her you'll dance in the streets. I didn't go to either extreme. I just felt like a great topic for a movie was squandered that so much more could have been made of. Then again Hollywood seems determined to portray any conservative character as evil and bad so I shouldn't have been surprised. It would be nice to see an even handed portrayal of both liberals and conservatives show up but I won't hold my breath waiting. 

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BUTTER: PLAYS IT FAR TOO SAFE

I had heard many good things about the movie BUTTER before I had the chance to see it. Critics were treating it fairly nice and word of mouth via numerous magazines said good things as well. So I went in expecting something quite different than what I got.

The world of BUTTER revolves around the annual Butter Carving Championship held at the Iowa State Fair. For the past 15 years the winner has remained Bob Pickler (Ty Burrell). Ty is a good natured man who has done an amazing job with his sculpting, his last being a full sized replica of the last supper. Bob is married to Laura (Jennifer Garner), a prim, proper and respectable leader in their community who feels that Bob's 15 years of winning may lead them to greater things like being the Governor or perhaps even one day the President. Not only is Laura a respectable member of the community, she is one that is feared as well. No one will mess with Laura or what she wants.

When the championship committee makes the decision to ask Bob to step down and let someone else win for once, Laura goes on a rampage. She views it as the world trying to take down her and her family, never once thinking that perhaps it would be encouraging for others to be involved. When Bob refuses to enter, Laura does what she considers the next best thing and enters herself in the hopes of retaining the family legacy.

But this won't be the easy win she expects. A storyline running alongside the Pickler family is that of Destiny (Yara Shahidi). A young black girl in an orphanage passed from one foster family to another, Destiny has landed with a new couple, Ethan and Julie (Rob Corrdry and Alicia Silverstone). When Destiny happens across Bob and his sculpture at an exhibition she is amazed and picks up on carving butter herself. A natural at it, she decides she wants to enter the competition as well.

Also entering the competition is Brooke (Olivia Wilde), a stripper that Bob had a fling with and who he owes $600. In an attempt to make his life worse than it already is, Brooke continues to show up at Bob's house demanding her money and finally enters the competition just to spite Laura.

So far this sounds like a decent satire of the whole competition scenario that we've had before in films. Instead we get something a little different that actually turns out to be a bit more hateful than one would expect. I mean granted when it comes to movies made about the Midwest people will always be portrayed as closed minded and redneck, the whole clinging to their guns and Bibles sort. For some reason Hollywood finds a lot of humor in that. While they continue to laugh uproariously at those sorts of things I find that it's more of an easy out and lazy comedy than anything.

This is not to say the film fails completely. At the start it truly has some funny moments. It's well made and does feature some really good performances. But then somewhere along the way it veers off and decides to get nasty and mean instead of funny. Laura goes from being an obsessed housewife with delusions of grandeur to what Hollywood thinks of right wingers. She's spouts off profanities when the mood suits her, feels she is entitled to a place of power and prestige, displays racists tendencies and will do any and everything she can to retain the family title. Her character becomes hateful and manipulative. Anyone that opposes her, including a stripper, is offered up as just and righteous.

The movie changes along with the character of Laura Pickler. It changes from a movie that has some great humor in it to one that seems more determined to ridicule those the writer doesn't agree with instead. In those attempts to ridicule we see displayed some of the laziest writing around resorting to stereotypes better left to online memes rather than a feature film.

One odd thing about those in Hollywood. Anyone who has actually lived in the Midwest always talks about how much they loved their childhood, yet they always seem to find it necessary to insult or ridicule where they came from. And for those who have never visited let alone lived in the Midwest, they always feel they know exactly what it's like to live there. Unfortunately with rare exceptions, they almost never get it right. This holds true in BUTTER.

A great example appears in outtakes that roll during the final credits. Ethan and Destiny have a scene where they're sitting in his car and she tells him she's afraid of going in to enter the competition. He begins to tell her that there are worse things that could happen than just entering. Things like piranhas learning to walk and entering the building at the same time to attack. These are things he says to break down her fear and give her the courage to enter. It's a nice scene and in the movie plays well. But in the outtakes one of the scenarios that Destiny offers up is "It could be worse; it could be a Republican fund raiser". Gee, isn't that a subtle display of where the thoughts of this writer lay.

The potential for a great movie was there. Instead it resorted to the cheap laughs it had that are actually not funny unless you hate Republicans. If so, you will love this movie. If you're a bit more open minded and think there are good and bad people on both sides of the coin, then this movie will offer a few laughs and then toss them all aside to gain political points with Hollywood.

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GIRLS: ...WITH LITTLE TO OFFER

I've always approached shows on cable networks with a sense of caution. For some reason it seems that most of the critics in the world fall all over themselves to discuss how wonderful each and every program on cable networks like HBO and SHOWTIME are cutting edge and worth watching. For the most part the one thing these shows have in common that is missing from network shows is the inclusion of sex and nudity. When the cable networks started original programming that seemed to be their biggest concern. Unfortunately that hasn't changed all that much.

I've never understood why that was all it took to make a show a hit. Surely this world is not so shallow that a few naked bodies are all it takes to make a hit series? Then again look at the offerings we've had. THE SOPRANOS, BOARDWALK EMPIRE, DEADWOOD and more have all offered some great story telling but at the same time felt the need to go after that base person tuning in by offering enough T&A to keep them watching. Would the shows have been as good if they didn't include it? I think so. It's too bad that these networks don't want to take the chance to find out. Which brings us to GIRLS.

Critically praised and already garnering Emmy nominations, GIRLS is the story of Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham, the shows creator/writer/sometime director), a woman in her early 20s out of college for 2 years whose parents in the opening of the series tell her that they've decided to cut her off. They will no longer pay her bills while she finds out what it is in life she wants. Instead they expect her to get a job like everyone else. Of course Hannah doesn't take this well and blames them for all of her problems expecting them to finance her until she decides what to do or until she gets her book of essays published. Their response? Too bad, get that job.

The series, while focusing on Hannah, includes her three best friends as well. Marnie (Allison Williams) is Hannah's best friend and roommate. Her long time boyfriend also spends most of his time there and is oblivious to the fact that Marnie isn't quite so sure she wants to stay with him. He adores her, dotes on her, does everything he can for her and yet she feels there is something missing. Marnie works at an art gallery, something you would think nearly everyone living in New York does since most New York set shows have at least one person with this job description.

Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) is a friend to both girls. What she does exactly I wasn't quite sure, but it's enough that she can pay rent and live fairly well. As the series begins she's something the rest of her friends are not which is a virgin. Shoshanna isn't sexually active which the rest of these girls are almost all the time.

Lastly we come to Jessa (Jemima Kirke), the free spirit who roams the world where ever she wants to go without a care in the world. Jessa is the Bohemian of the bunch, not caring what anyone thinks of her or her lifestyle. Jessa smokes even though she thinks she's pregnant, considers an abortion without thinking about it and dresses in outfits that only someone on either coast would find normal.

So what do these girls talk about, what predicaments do they find themselves in? First off they need to work. Hannah has the most problem finding a job. It seems she lacks the skills necessary to find employment in the big apple. Even Jessa finds a job baby sitting two young girls.

The other big focus in their lives seems to be sex. One would think in an enlightened world where the sexual revolution changed the way women were observed that they would hold the upper hand at all times. Instead these women crave sex and constantly seek it out. The bad thing is that in all their choices for partners only one seems to actually care about the other and he's the one who could get dumped any moment. Men in this series rarely care about the women they have sex with and act as if it's just something to be expected. It shows a lot of what the writers of this show think about men. Then again what does it say about women when their only interest in men is sex?

A huge number of reviews for this show have compared it to SEX AND THE CITY because of the fact that there are 4 friends who live in New York and who seem interested in sex. That's about the only way they compare. Where as SEX AND THE CITY displayed successful career women living out the fantasy lives that seemed prevalent at the time, GIRLS offers the grittier side of the same coin, showing a world where women struggle to make rent and instead of wealthy, handsome men find themselves in bed with whoever can make it there. Not meant as an insult but the women in this series are also more realistic than in SATC. No glamour girls here but rather women that you see every day.

I've noticed another common comment in nearly every review written about this series. The word "quirky" comes up in almost every one I've read. I guess the easiest way to gather an audience is to do something "quirky" and off the wall and you can stick critics into your back pocket. Then again perhaps "quirky" is a lazy way for writers to appear to be in touch with their subject matter and not appear to be unhip.

So with all that said do I really hate this series? Actually not quite. I mean it does seem more interested in playing to two simple crowds: those who watch for the vicarious thrill of seeing people having sex on TV and those who think they are so hip and in the know that this series reflects the lives of most everyone living in New York. I belong to neither group so the series isn't a must see on my radar. Occasionally it did offer a few laughs but those were few and far between. It also showed some heart in the fears and struggles of these characters, one scene in particular after Hannah has quit a job and found her "boyfriend" took her seriously when she said she wanted to break up. But this is not a show that I would set a DVR to record or rush home to watch an episode of.

It is nice to see the world as seen through real life eyes rather than the rose colored glasses everyone wants to use when depicting life in New York, lives filled with glamour and paparazzi everywhere rather than the low rent apartments and pasty white boyfriends. For people who love shows that reflect a more realistic approach to the world you'll probably enjoy this series. I tend to watch shows that give me the opportunity to get away from that world rather than roll around in it. I think most of us have enough problems in our day to day lives that we don't quite find someone else going through problems as entertainment. But as long as you know what you're going into before watching that first episode, perhaps you'll find this one you'll like but then again maybe not.

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GEORGE LOPEZ-IT'S NOT ME IT'S YOU: NO GEORGE, IT IS YOU

I love watching stand up comedy. If there's a stand up program on Comedy Central I'm the one in this house who stops to see if the person on stage is funny. I was the one who in my group discovered Richard Pryor first and then tried to get everyone to see RICHARD PRYOR LIVE when it came out. When you can find a comedian who makes you laugh you've found a special thing. But there is a downside as well.

With the huge number of comedians out there these days not all of them can be funny non-stop. Some can be funny every few jokes they tell while others just fall flat. Then there are the two fatal flaws that happen to comedians. The first is to be so determined to show they have street cred that they toss in expletives every few words to display how edgy and controversial they are. For me this just shows their writing abilities are weak and they have to resort to the cheaper lowest level of comedy. This isn't to say that I'm desperately offended. Like I said I felt Pryor was hilarious. It's just that some comedians only got that out of his act and nothing else.

The second problem is when a comedian becomes so well known that he thinks no matter what comes out of his/her mouth its funny. They become so caught up in what their friends say that they think everything they do will get a laugh. Worse yet there are some who will see them live and laugh only because of what they remember rather than what they are actually seeing.

I really like George Lopez. When he first started I thought he was one of the funniest new comedians around. His jokes seemed topical and he seemed genuine. When he had his sitcom on TV I watched it regularly because it was funny and heartfelt. When he went on to do a talk show I caught it now and then but found it only a so so effort. All of that disappeared when I watched IT'S NOT ME IT'S YOU.

Lopez' latest stage show is dull more than anything. Worse than that it's not the least bit funny. I watched the entire show waiting for a laugh but none arrived. I thought I'd at least chuckle a bit but I didn't even do that. Had it been summer the only thing you would have heard in my house other than the antics on screen would be crickets chirping.

Lopez does the usual wide eyed mugging he's noted for and goes into his discussion on the difference between Latinos and everyone else. Much of the time he speaks Spanish to show that he actually is Latino I guess or to play to that portion of the crowd. To me a comedian should play to the entire audience. I honestly found this performance so boring that I couldn't tell you the topics he discussed. I can tell you about Pryor talking about blacks in the forest, his growing up in a whorehouse and the character of Mudbone and I saw that performance almost 40 years ago. I watched this DVD days ago and couldn't tell you one thing that Lopez said.

I'm sure Lopez managers have told him he needs to be more edgy to get the youth of the country to see him again. I'm sure they told him no matter what he said that night he was funny. I sure that the laughter emitted by the crowd there was all he heard. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what they were laughing at. Was it just being polite? To me this performance and DVD wasn't just something that I didn't enjoy, it was one that I would recommend everyone avoid at all costs.

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STEP UP REVOLUTION: DANCING IN THE STREETS

I'm coming into the whole STEP UP scene further down the line than I'd like to admit. This is the first movie in the series that I've actually watched. From what I've been able to look up this is either the fourth film in the series. If they have all been like this then they're entertaining enough but nothing spectacular.

This time around we have a group of young people who love to dance and are seeking to win a competition for flash mob dancing being sponsored on the internet. For those who don't know a flash mob involves a group of people who prepare for a dance performance but don't have a stage to perform on. Instead they show up unannounced with no warning and suddenly you have a group of people burst into dance in everyday settings. When the film opens the group stop traffic on a coastal Miami street, pop up their sound equipment in seconds and begin dancing on top of, around and over cars in the street. Timed to make sure they can get away without being caught, the break down and take off.

The leader of the crew is Eddy. Not professionally trained, Eddy works at a local hotel along with several other members of the crew. Their current goal is to get more hits for their street performance than any other crew and to win a large cash award and contract via the competition sponsored online.

While on break at the hotel Eddy meets a young girl named Penelope who has some dance moves of her own. What he doesn't know is that her father is the owner of the hotel. Not only do we have a boy from the wrong side of the tracks meets girl who lives in posh surroundings here, we have another problem when Penelope's father releases the news that he intends to buy out the neighborhood where Eddy and his friends live to turn it into a resort area.

Love will conquer all though. Even the problems that pop up when Eddy's best friend nearly ruins the potential for the crew to win the competition when he becomes jealous of Penelope. What he doesn't realize is that she's on their side and that the time she's been spending with Eddy was to help her realize her dream of performing with a high profile dance troupe there in Miami. Sure it lead to romance but there was no plan to harm the crew.

While this set up may sound simple that's because in effect it is simple. The story is small and the dialogue weak but that's not what people going to see the STEP UP films are there for. They're there to watch the young dancers spin, jump, pop up and krunk in various settings Its all about dancing and watching some talented people do it to the best of their ability. The plotlines here are no more in depth than the old Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland "hey kids let's put on a show!" plots. Its all about the dancing.

That's not to say it's a bad movie. It's actually quite entertaining. The dancing is well done and the music will have you toe tapping in seconds. No, this is not a movie that I would mark my calendar to go see, but as a rental for a night that will entertain, especially those who are dance fans, you can't go wrong with this one.

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A VAMPIRE'S TALE: MORE PLASMA THAN BLOOD

A VAMPIRE'S TALE starts of incredibly slow and terrible only to finally become a decent horror film by the end. Unfortunately there is that whole beginning which is filled with terrible things to make you want to turn off the movie before the good arrives.

The opening sequence takes place in the old west where a gunslinger is calling out a bad guy only to be killed by a female vampire in the streets. The sequence feels wrong and out of place immediately with everyone wearing what appears to be brand new clothes that come straight from a costume shop as opposed to that feeling and appearance of the old west. Before you have time to think about it we move to the present.

Jacob (Doug Bradley) is an antiques dealer who is moving to the country with his completely unlikely family. Along for the ride are his new and pregnant wife Lauren and his snotty ward/step daughter Rachel. We know Rachel is snotty and a pain in the keester because she does nothing but complain about the move and about her Lauren. The trio does little more than bicker and fight on their trip to their new home which we know will lead to an eventual showdown between Lauren and Rachel.

A secondary story has two young men walking trails and camping nearby. They reference the movie AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON but trust me, the film is not nearly that good. While camping they come across a young woman out in the woods as well. Yeah right, that shouldn't make them worry. Indeed she is a vampire, the same one we saw at the beginning of the film, and she attacks them. One of the two men escapes and of course ends up at the home of the dysfunctional family. To top things off, Lauren begins to go into labor. Whoever thought moving a pregnant woman into a home 30 minutes from any nearby hospital was a genius.

Somehow, I honestly can't remember because by this time I was bored out of my skull and just wanted the character of Rachel to get a life (an amazing character by the way portrayed by an actress who looked far too old to be taken seriously in a role meant for a tween rather than an adult), the cowboy we saw killed in the opening sequence appears. It turns out he's a vampire too and wants to kill the female vampire. It turns out she's not just any vampire but the queen of them all. For his soul to rest, she needs to die.

The last 30 minutes of the film and the storyline that FINALLY presents itself turn out to be decent. This would have made a great episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT rather than a feature film that actually feels long at 90 minutes, a good portion of which are used for the credits. But the movie does run longer than it should for what it contains and instead becomes a movie to avoid. My guess is with the name of Doug Bradley, who has portrayed the character of Pinhead in the HELLRAISER movies, they thought it would draw enough fans for them to make their money back. Unfortunately they didn't count on these same fans passing the word around about how disappointing this film is. 

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REDHOOK SUMMER: AMATEUR HOUR

I remember a day when a Spike Lee movie would come out and critics would fall all over themselves to talk about what a genius he was. I would see these same movies and think they were well made and interesting but nothing near as special as they seemed to think they were. Then things began to change. Lee's new movies weren't getting near the attention his earlier works did and he became known more for his outrageous comments than his films. If he continues to make movies like this I can see that continuing.

REDHOOK SUMMER takes place in the now familiar Lee territory of Redhook, Brooklyn. Young Flick is forced by his mother to arrive in Redhook to spend the summer with his religious grandfather Enoch, a pastor of a church there. Coming from a middle class home where he has his own food and non-stop use of his Ipad 2, Flick grumbles about wanting to go home and hates the situation he's in.

Enoch doesn't cow tow to the boy and makes the food he normally does. He also has Flick work for him in the church, taking care of the building and handing out pamphlets. It is at the church that Flick makes his only new friend, a young girl named Chazz who takes no guff from Flick and who speaks her mind frequently.

Flick seems like the most naive character on the face of the Earth. Walking around the tough neighborhood of Brooklyn he flaunts his Ipad constantly never fearing that it will be stolen from him. When he meets the gang on the street, The Bloods, he doesn't flinch or act like he might be in any jeopardy while his grandfather gives them their space. He might try to convince them to change their ways and accept God but he knows better than to push their buttons.

The story here is incredibly thin, that of a young boy discovering a different world than he's used to. While he's surrounded by faith and all that comes with it, the movie isn't about faith or discovering it. Instead it's about Flick and how he changes based on what goes on around him. Plenty of screen time involves the church and sermons there, but Flick seems unfazed by all that. He's more affected by his friendship with Chazz and the experience of being around his grandfather that the time in church. All that changes towards the end of the film with a startling revelation.

Two things harm this movie more than anything. The first is the acting involved. Both the actors portraying Flick and Chazz are the most amateurish I've seen in some time. There is no life in Flick, no spark that this is a real person. Instead I felt like I was watching someone read a book instead of acting. The actress playing Chazz felt more like someone portraying a caricature than a real person. Maybe having never been to Brooklyn I'm missing something here but I don't think that's the case.

The second worst thing this film does is be boring. The pacing is incredibly slow. Slow patches suddenly have speeches from characters inserted before going back to slow patches. There are few if any characters to sympathize with. With the exception of the big reveal towards the end of the film you feel like nothing is happening here.

Movies have been made about the coming of age for characters since the black and white films of the past. Those movies involved the viewer, made them want to know what happened to the character after the final credits. With this film I couldn't find myself caring what happened to the character while it was going on. This is one movie I couldn't recommend to anyone with the exception of Spike Lee followers who will find any movie he does a work of art.

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EASTBOUND & DOWN SEASON THREE: TERRIBLE TV

I missed the ball when the series EASTBOUND & DOWN began a few years ago. I heard good things about it and wondered if it lived up to the hype. Having just watched most of season 3 I can honestly say no, it comes nowhere near the hype. This show is just plain terrible.

The story is based around Kenny Powers, a baseball star who got kicked out of the big leagues when his fastball began to fade and due to his obnoxious personality. From what I've read the first season had him return to his hometown to teach gym. Apparently between then and now he's received a second chance and is now pitching in some minor league. The episodes I made it through didn't really touch much on this, only enough so you were aware.

True to form Kenny is still an obnoxious character. He seems to spend more time getting high and trying to hit on women far too young for him and definitely out of his league. For the most part they seemed more turned off by him than interested. The bragging about what a great star he is comes more from Kenny than from anyone else.

Here we have a central character that there is no way anyone could like or even care about. Kenny is a narcissist with a capital N. In his mind there is no one more important than Kenny, even his child. He is the most unlovable character I've seen in some time.

To make this series even worse is the performance by star Danny McBride. McBride has fallen into the same trap that so many before him have, most notable Jack Black. He apparently has a staff that tells him no matter what he does he's funny even when he's far from it. I've seen several things with McBride in the past few years and as an actor he isn't. He portrays every role the same way with the same characteristics and same problems. When it seems there aren't enough laughs he resorts to vulgar language. I have little doubt in my mind some half wasted college kid finds this hilarious. Until proven wrong the only thing McBride can do for me is give me a clue which movies/shows to avoid since he is in them.

I found nothing in this series that would make me want to come back and watch it each week. I honestly found myself stopping halfway through this season knowing that there was no way it would get any better than what I'd already witness and that was terrible. All it made me do was wonder how something like this could get made when so many great series were canceled or never even made it on the air. Would the show have been funnier or more enjoyable had I seen the first two seasons? Perhaps. Then again maybe if I decided to start smoking weed I'd find this series funny or even tolerable. I think I'd rather save the brain cells and just pass it by.

But one thing is certain. I'm sure that there are some out there who think McBride is a genius. I'm sure that there are some out there who think that this series is the funniest thing on the face of the Earth. And with that in mind I know that someone will take me to task for talking about how bad this show is, for revealing that the king isn't wearing any clothes. I'm sorry if you're a fan of this show and of this actor. My only hope is that one day you'll experience something that actually IS funny.

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