SKINNED DEEP: WHAT THE…

 

I love watching movies. All kinds of movies. From the classics of cinema to the low budget low rent movies released from Troma. But on occasion you get a movie to watch that has you just scratching your head in wonderment. You think to yourself, why oh why did someone feel the need to make this movie? Or better yet why oh why would someone GIVE someone the money to make this movie? Such is the case with SKINNED DEEP.

Gabe Bartalos is a well-known special effects artist. His makeup effects began as far back as TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 where he was part of the special effects crew on to films like DOLLS, DARKMAN, BASKETCASE 3 and more. He’s done a great job in all of these films. But he’s only directed two feature films. From my point of view, sorry to say, it was 2 too many. 

SKINNED DEEP is Bartalos first feature film. The artwork for the box and the creature design of the character seen on the front, Surgeon General, looks fantastic. The character even looks intimidating in the film. Unfortunately that’s about the only good thing the movie has going for it. 

The Rockwell family is on vacation, mom, dad, junior and teenage Tina. A flat tire leaves them stranded and dad walks the family down to the house of a little old lady who runs the general store/gas station down the road. What they don’t know is the house contains a group that makes the Addams family look normal. It isn’t long before everyone but Tina is killed, saved only because family member Brain wants to keep her. 

Yes Brain looks exactly like his name, a guy with a head 10 times the size it should be a shaped like his brain swelled up one day. Also in the group as the aforementioned Surgeon General with the bear trap like jaw (I mean literally it’s a bear trap) and Plates (Warwick Davis) a plate throwing little person who spouts soliloquies. The movie follows the usual pattern of seeing weird things taking place, Tina trying to escape and people trying to stop the family. In this case those facing off against them are a geriatric biker gang. 

I know, with a story like this how could it not be an Oscar contender right? But the movie is terrible on so many fronts. The camera work is so bad with the worst choices for shots imaginable. The acting is bad as well with the worst performance coming from Liz Little as Grannie. Elementary school performers could outdo her. The story…well…it almost feels like there is a tiny thread running through here surrounded by the dreams and nightmares of Bartalos tossed in for his own amusement. Unfortunately I found them not the least bit amusing.

Like his other effort SAINT BERNARD I found this movie overindulgent, a way for a director/writer to express himself in a way that isn’t entertaining but that snobbish critics and “art” lovers will clamor over and heap praises on while the average film goer will watch and wonder why they gave their money away to be forced to sit through this. The set designs and the creature designs are the only saving grave for this movie and that’s not saying much.

This might not be the worst movie I’ve ever seen but it’s working its way up that ladder. Apparently it has its fans though and Severin is limiting the printing of the film to just 2,000 prints. There may be that many people who love it but I’m not thinking there are. Only time will tell if we see this one on the discounted price sale come Severin’s Thanksgiving Day sale. 

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