Thursday, August 18, 2011

SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE: WILL SY FY NEVER LEARN?

Many have talked about the fact that the Sy Fy channel makes terrible movies to run on their station. Usually it’s some form of giant predatory snake, lizard, crocodile/alligator or dragon gone wild or pumped full of experimental drugs. With a touch of incredibly poor CGI effects, these movies are pumped out faster than the old AIP horror films.

On rare occasions Sy Fy delves into movies of another kind as well. Their takes on horror have created a new low in that genre, the results of which offer movies whose special effects budgets (incredibly low at best) are better than what they spent on the script. Pick up a few genre actors looking for a quick check or an actor down on their luck when it comes to hot prospects and BAM, you have a Sy Fy original.

SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE is one such flick. A part of the After Dark series (which while many bad mouth I’ve found to offer good and bad movies), the film concerns archeology professor Isla Whelan (Lauren Holly) and two of her students are in the midst of organized and recording a ton of artifacts located in the bowels of the university they’re in. One recent acquisition delivered to Isla is an ancient metal glove that we saw a knight wearing at the start of the film when he and several other nights took on some creature in a flowing red gown.

As they look over the item they’re led to a secret room which holds a box hidden away some time previously. Being the smart college group that they are, they realize the glove is a key of sorts that opens the box. Hoping to find some serious treasure, they are rewarded only with a rotting head instead. After Isla leaves the 2 students behind for a bit, the head’s mouth opens and releases a terrible scream that causes their ears to bleed as well as Isla’s and the guard in the building. What they have done is unleash the banshee, trapped within the box for centuries and now free to do harm.

Follow ups with several other clues lead the group to discover that there was a professor prior to them that had found the box and was searching for the glove. This professor (played by Frank Henriksen for perhaps a total of 9 minutes on screen) had the box taken from him by a student assistant, the one responsible for placing it in the wall. Henriksen’s search for these items eventually drove him mad. Now it seems that the banshee wants to wreak havoc once again on an unsuspecting world and all that stands in the way are a professor and 2 students.

A few other subplots are tossed in that no one cares about. Isla’s daughter going through the usual teen difficulty of a mother that doesn’t understand her and that she can’t relate to. The assistants are fond of one another yet for some reason don’t let on through most of the film. It’s extras like these that round out the script or as I tend to consider it, pad out the script so a 30 minute movie lasts a near unbearable 90 minutes.

What is most upsetting is seeing recognizable actors doing films like this. With Henriksen I can understand as he’s done it more than once and most likely to make a quick paycheck. At 71 years old he’s at the end of his career and probably wanting to leave something behind for his family. But Lauren Holly? This incredibly attractive actress has resorted to roles that were meant for women far younger. And if not, then the characters should be more concerned for their positions and such rather than how attractive they are. Holly looks good, but come on, how many professors make an attempt to dress with shirts unbuttoned enough to allow their students a life lesson they should have learned in the back seat of a Chevy while in high school. I for one would much rather see Holly playing characters her age and looking her age. To do otherwise is to assume that women over 40 can’t be attractive on their own without the help of modern medicine or without doffing their clothes when the chance presents itself.

On the whole this film leaves little to make it worthwhile. There are no scares with the exceptions of the expected jump scenes, those scenes where things are quiet and suddenly something jumps up accompanied by a loud and piercing sound effect of music at such a decibel that your ears bleed much as the characters in this film. The monster looks like a decently made mask but a mask none the less. But it’s the story that’s perhaps the worst thing this film has to offer.

If the movie shows up on TV to watch and you’ve already seen that episode of MAN VS FOOD three or four times, if the rerun of TYRA has something so disgusting you can’t watch it or if Jerry Springer reruns feature someone normal as opposed to the usual weirdoes he normally has, then perhaps you could watch this. But better yet, turn off the TV and read a good book.

No comments:

Post a Comment