Thursday, June 30, 2011

WILD CHERRY: DESTINED FOR DIRECT TO DVD

Some movies are made that you just know will end up going direct to DVD. Sure, some deserve better but, as with WILD CHERRY, some deserve it.

The film opens with teens describing their first sexual experience. It’s part of a class documentary being shot by Katlyn Chase (Rumer Willis), one of three best friends the movie focuses on. Helen (Tania Raymonde) and Trish (Kristin Cavallare) round out the trio who seem obsessed with discussing their burgeoning sexual awareness. That makes it sound better than it is. What they really discuss is losing their virginity and the rush to do so. Only Helen is holding out for a touch of romance for her first experience.

Things take a twist when it’s discovered that the boys on the football team have a book and a tradition passed down since 1953. The books features a list of girls and hooks up members of the team as they must each take the virginity of one of the girls. Failure to do so will result in a losing team. The things boys will do for team spirit!

When the girls find out they attempt to organize the rest of the females on the campus of Benjamin Dover High (Ben Dover…get it?) to not put out for the males. They’re not concerned about the teams scoring average on the field, but they intend to stop their scoring off the field.

Discussions of masturbation, orgasms and attempts to break down the walls erected by these girls follow. Such “hilarious” moments as sperm ice cubes and a punch bowl filled with Viagra just want to make you slap your knee laughing. Okay that was sarcasm, more funny than most of the scenes found here.

I suppose this movie could be considered harmless by some but the truth is if this is where the world of comedy is going we’re in trouble here folks! It’s as if they’ve taken the worst that films like PORKY’S or AMERICAN PIE had to offer and thought those were the moments that made those film funny. It wasn’t!

The acting here is decent enough and Rob Schneider (whose likeness on the cover is being used to help sell this film) is wasted as the father of Helen. His moments in the film are by far the best and actually show that he’s a better actor than most give him credit for.

I can’t recommend this film to anyone with the exception of hormonal young teens seeking out something to giggle at. And even those will have a hard time finding anything to laugh at here. It really is that bad.

One last piece of proof. This is supposed to be a trophy winning football team on display here. And yet the stands for their school are the most ancient and unsafe looking around, not to mention barely enough to hold a single class of a high school let alone an entire school and town. Not only that the stands aren’t even full. This is low budget at its worst. I mean come on, rent some mannequins if nothing else to make them look full. Then again there are more fans in the seats than perhaps ever entered a theater to watch this movie.

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